Jesus (Still) Loves A Good Fight (Matthew 10:34)

Recession continues as Bozo's Nozo Gozo

feeds@yuku.com (National Obfuscator) — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 16:31:56 GMT

According to witnesses, long time children's favorite Bozo The Clown's nose has been eaten. The National Obfuscator was able to obtain this exclusive photograph, taken only moments before this shocking event.

Supporters say that Bozo's world famous nozo will almost certainly grow back again, just as his backside did following a similar incident several years ago....

Prepare for the end

feeds@yuku.com (Deaconess In Charge) — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 09:32:52 GMT

Where did everyone go?

feeds@yuku.com (Naughty Nun) — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 18:41:20 GMT

Public Service Announcement

feeds@yuku.com (Haight Ashbury) — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 15:11:02 GMT

Always important to remember. And here's another...

You Chulches needa noo Cuhrt Readah - Trans: You Churches need a new Cult Leader

feeds@yuku.com (Jim Kong Ill) — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 12:05:15 GMT

Hi eveebodee, I Jim Kong Ill, grohlious reader of Nawlf Kolea and not nasty dictatah at ahrr. I see you peppars know ahrr about wewigious cuhrts and abusive, manipuwativ cuhrt readahs but you havn't had one fohl a rong, rong time now since Hobahlt Almstlong kicked bucket. For rong rong time now you have not had benefit of good cuhrt readah rike Almstlong. You need noo cuhrt readah but nutty guys rick Gellard Frully and Lodelick Meledith just don't make the glade.

...

Are you serious.... a fight ??

feeds@yuku.com (666calculator) — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 14:58:25 GMT

Are you serious Jesus like a good fight.

He plays with all the forces of hell like a bird, so I guess you mean disagreement such as arguing.

Jesus fight....................Please, It wouldn't be fair, the universe combined would not even have time to say "Ready" before they would become toast. But I guess that
is because most still see some man hanging on a cross even Christians. Sort of funny and ironic to me, the cross never held him but...

Ramirez to JSLAGF in deadline deal

feeds@yuku.com (Dredge Report) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 17:38:15 GMT

BOSTON (AP)-Manny Ramirez is headed to JSLAGF.

The Red Sox finally parted ways with their disgruntled slugger, sending him to the Jesus Still Loves A Good Fight message board in a startling trade Thursday that brought Byker...

PETRA BULLETIN

feeds@yuku.com (purplehymnal) — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 22:59:36 GMT

As with every issue of the PB, we request that you circulate your copy to others, so the fewest issues can go the furthest. Also, please ensure the PB has been circulated thoroughly before it ends up beside the middens. We thank you for your assistance to the Work.-Editors

YES/YOU TRAINING TO COMMENCE ON THE STEPS TO HEAVEN

Parents, please have your children and teenagers packed up and ready to go after sundown this Sabbath, for the training program on...

World Tomorrow News LATEST EDITION

feeds@yuku.com (purplehymnal) — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 09:45:46 GMT

PIGS TO REPLACE DOMESTICATED CATS, DOGS

PETRA, Israel---The latest edict issued from World Tomorrow Headquarters: All cats and dogs are to be taken to the Valley of Megiddo, where they will be thrown into the portal to the abyss or "The Lake of Fire". All families bringing domesticated animals to the various drop-off points will get a free pig, in exchange for each family pet.

Drop-off times and locations will be posted in each region by the end of...

Leavening Checklist

feeds@yuku.com (Ambassador Girl) — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 13:32:32 GMT

Everyone needs to pitch in here and let's work together and make sure we didn't miss any leavening that needs to be out out out.

1. Check the kitty food and litter.
2. Check the dog food and be sure and scoop any that's been processed already, just in case.
3. Always best to have the waste in your outhouse emptied and dumped in the nearest...

Rambler Sues KITBS

feeds@yuku.com (Dredge Report) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 16:41:18 GMT

Alumni Sighingtologist and Glenn Hubbard devotee, Jack Rambler, is suing the kids in the back seat for allegedly stealing his schtick. Rambler, whose suit we will not quote verbatim due to lack of space, essentially states that the KITBS's only claim to fame is their alleged mimicry of his speech pattern, such as it is. Rambler is also seeking damages related to the loss by police confiscation of his mint...

Helping out

feeds@yuku.com (Deaconess In Charge) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 17:09:05 GMT

We are going to make it more comfortable for those who have to wait so long to get out of the Parking lots at the Feasty sites this year.

Diary of a Deacon's Wife

feeds@yuku.com (Deacons Wife) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 13:30:57 GMT

Monday

Dear Diary,

I am so blue, what am I to do?

The children were promised to see a movie Sunday, but late Saturday night we got a call from Elder Jones saying that Church Widow Brown needed someone to help her move to a new apartment.

Donald, my husband , the Deacon ,was suppose to call the other Deacons and get a moving team together for early Sunday morning and we were to furnish a meal for the team.

While Donald...

Bad attitudes

feeds@yuku.com (Mister Upwite) — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 14:00:40 GMT

This board has some bad attitudes. If fellow members would be more serious about attendance at church and less serious about this board we'd see new attitudes.

Don't forget Bible Study on Wednesday night.

Spokesman Club on Tuesday night.

Deaconess meeting on Monday night.

Deacons meeting on Thursday night.

Friday night Bible Study.

Sunday work days at the minister's house....

It's a hard luck life

feeds@yuku.com (Deaconess In Charge) — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 21:44:15 GMT

We aim to keep it clean around our facilities. There is a shortage of JR Deaconess material.
These young broads don't want to work toward a passport for Petra like our mummies use to do.

Don't know...

Mirror Mirror on the wall, who's the mightiest fairy on JSLAGF

feeds@yuku.com (Jorgen the Yuku Fairy) — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 10:35:05 GMT
I am Jorgen Von Yuku. Clearly I am the mightiest of all the fairies on JSLAGF. As you can plainly see I have the biggest, most bulging muscles and the biggest wand.

Here is your...

JSLAGF in RECEIVERSHIP!!!!!!!!

feeds@yuku.com (RRRRRipov) — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 19:30:12 GMT

My dear children of the Net, it is my unfortunate duty to report to you that this man has been appointed as RECEIVER over JSLAGF by the new mayor of the City of Ewijay, Auntie Master. The first act of this political...

Number 2 Apostle Cited For Heresy!!!

feeds@yuku.com (Dredge Report) — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 09:19:34 GMT
The Music Police of the COG Censor Board have cited Number 2 Apostle for heresy after it was learned he not only had a copy of Steve Vai's "Visual Sound Theories" DVD, and not only did he actually watch it, but, contrary to accepted...

Be WARNED !!!!

feeds@yuku.com (Unregistered(d)) — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 17:13:06 GMT
The DEFENDERS are coming!!!

cog sighingtologist is the new cog i am starting because as

feeds@yuku.com (Jack Rambler) — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 00:42:15 GMT
sum of you no i was wunce in the wcg then moved on two the yoocg then the elcg then the wwe but now i am tired of all those inefishent churches i washed my hands of so now i am forming my own to be called cog sighingtologist and it will be the best wun of all because eye will be able to run it myself and not worry about any of those so called apostates telling me i cant run it myself when i no i can and now i have declared...